


This is Our Backstory

by CelesteFitzgerald



Series: Perryshmirtz Week 2018 [1]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, M/M, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 08:25:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16301597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelesteFitzgerald/pseuds/CelesteFitzgerald
Summary: It's not one of Heinz's schemes without a backstory. But backstories can change.





	This is Our Backstory

**Author's Note:**

> Perryshmirtz Week Day 1 - Prompt: Backstory

It began the same way it always did. He caught you in a trap, he gave you his backstory. But as you listened, you quickly realized that this wasn’t one of his usual stories.

“It all started a couple months ago, when I was setting up one of my evil schemes. Then, out of nowhere, you—that’s right, _you_ , Perry the Platypus—crashed straight through my window. There was glass _everywhere_! Do you know how long it took me to clean that up? Two hours. Ugh, it was such a _pain_.”

You certainly weren’t expecting yourself to make an appearance in one of his backstories. But that wasn’t the only unusual part. None of the usual pain or anger was visible in his eyes this time (well…maybe a _little_ anger). He seemed more…annoyed, but even that didn’t look very strong.  

“Now, you might be wondering why I’m bringing this up—again. Seriously, how many times have I told you to use the door? And you still use every possible entrance _except_ the door—Anyway, it gave me an idea for a new Inator. Yes, _you_ gave me the inspiration to do something evil. Not such a good guy now, are you?”

You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help but smile at his excitement. (If you were completely honest with yourself, this only made you even less likely to use the door next time.)

“Behold, the Shatter-Inator! Once I fire the Shatter-Inator, all of the windows in this area will simultaneously shatter, forcing everyone to stop what they’re doing to clean it up. Then they’ll be too busy cleaning to notice me taking over the _Tri-State Area!_ ”

He finished talking, and you escaped, proceeding with the thwarting of what might actually be one of his most dangerous schemes ever (you sure as heck were _not_ going to let him fire that thing). You won, as usual. He cursed you, as usual. You could almost pretend that nothing had changed.

Almost.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You began appearing in his backstories more often.

“…I remembered the first time you ever found one of my self-destruct buttons, and how much of a mess it made everywhere—seriously, do you do anything else besides _ruin_ my apartment?— So I created the _Self-Destruct-Inator_ …”

“…the time you took off your hat to trick me into thinking you were someone else. Which gave me the idea for…”

“…you spent the day helping me get over my evil scientist’s block. And—hmm, I guess that doesn’t have anything to do with my new Inator, but it was really nice of you…”

You couldn’t figure out what had led to this change, but you weren’t complaining. It was nice to see him smile while telling you a backstory for once.

Then one day Vanessa was over when you showed up. Just by looking at the number of buttons on the Inator he had built, you could tell he was trying to impress her. Based on the way she was staring at her phone, it didn’t seem to be working.

“Ahh, Perry the Platypus, how nice of you to join us. Please, pull up a chair—no, let _me_ do it for you.”

Ropes shot out of the chair next to Vanessa’s, quickly tying you to it. She looked up for a second and nodded at you before returning to her phone.

“I bet your wondering what _this_ is,” he said, gesturing to the Inator. “Well, it’s all because of that time—ooh, Vanessa, you should listen to this too—anyway, it was when you helped me set up for Vanessa’s birthday party—”

Vanessa cut him off with a groan. “ _Dad_ , you’ve told me this story before, like, ten times.”

“I have?” Heinz asked, surprised. You were just as surprised as he was.

“Yeah. All you ever do anymore is talk about Perry. Do you even have any other friends?”

Heinz started sputtering and his cheeks turned red. (If your face wasn’t covered in fur, it probably would have been even redder than his.) “He’s not my _friend_ , Vanessa, he’s my _nemesis_. There’s a difference.”

“Uh-huh. Whatever you say.”

You watched as Heinz tried (and failed) to get his focus back, but you were a bit distracted yourself. Apparently you weren’t the only one who had been hearing this new type of backstory. Knowing that Heinz really thought about you enough to tell his family stories about you and him—repeatedly—gave you a strange, warm feeling.

Heinz managed to stumble through an explanation of his Inator, and you broke free of the trap to quickly destroy it. You were about to leave when Vanessa called out to you.

“See you later, Perry. Don’t stay away too long, Dad will miss you.”

“I will _not_!” Heinz yelled as you gave Vanessa a salute before leaving (with a smile on your face).

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

For his next scheme, he told you a “backstory” about Vanessa. You let him know that you didn’t think something that happened less than twenty-four hours ago counted as a backstory, but he just got defensive and gave you a bunch of convoluted reasons why it _did_ count.

Regardless, you still liked these stories a lot better. You liked seeing the emotions that flashed across his face when he spoke of the people he loved.

And you could tell he liked it better, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Woo, Perryshmirtz Week is finally here! I wasn't sure if I'd get this fic done in time, but I did it! Now hopefully I can get all the other ones done too, haha.


End file.
